Just got home from meeting with with Bf. We played some pool. And guess wat? I won all the games. We played like ard 6 games.. And i won all 6 games. I feel like a pro. Yeah man. Hmm Actually Shane was the first person i played pool with and now, i can be considered same level as him *ehem*
I hate it when my aunties or family friends start ringing my mother kpo-ingly say that they saw me with this guy at this place, this time, doing this, doing that. What the fuck man. DOnt they have anything better to do? COme on, go and find something to do like sit at home and breast feed ur children or just suck ur husbands smelly toes. Urgh. So im eighteen now, and i cant even go out with someone of the opposite sex? HOw narrow can one's minset be man. Urgh. I hate this kinda society man. Whenever i go out, i must be careful with the little little things i do. I dont want wrong information to reach my mother and in turn she being mad. She cant get good sleep if she get to know this sorta things. What the fuck man, I cant even be myself. I have to walk with my eyes very alert for any "danger" u know. Urgh.
I wanna leave this society man. I wanna collect enough money and get outta this place. U know, i need some freedom u know. Its not that i wanna lead too open and westernised lifestyle not thinking abt the moral and religious aspect la, but come on, how do u feel when ur doing something and u just feel from the side of ur eyes, somebody u know is watching. I need some space at least. I dont like my every movement to be watched. I want to be myself. And its not like im acting inappropriately outside. No. Im sane. I know wats wrong. I know wats right. I know what i do. ANd im old enough to think the things im doing. Come on, im a teenager. i want some entertainment too. I know u had a terrible teenage experience due to the stupid midsetu ppl adopt in the past, dont put me in the same situation man. Urgh im pissed. Come on, we have to move on. I cant possibly be sitting in the kitchen every day every moment for the whole of the entire teenage years. World change man, and we should also change to the way we react to changes. On top of all these, i know the main thing still stand, and its not like im neglecting it wat..
ANd apparently, mother is mad at me becoz im with someone of a different belief and race. What the fuck. So she's saying that all malays are good? Come on la, open ur eyes wide wide and see for urself, wear tudong, supposedly religious la kan, but hugging with guys in public, and i dont think they are married. Hell, no. And they can be much more worse than any one would have guessed. I hate this kinda mentality man.
I wanna quickly finish my A levels, Hopefully get to work after that, collect enough money and "kapoooof" U ppl wont see me in SIngapore anymore. Urgh.. This thing is suffocating me. Urgh. And to people out there, dont be busybody la kan. Mind ur own business as simple as that.
Im pissed.
Ciao.
