That Bastard in the house reads my blog. FUCK OFF

Im so fragile right now. A lvl is nearing. Trying really hard to study, but it seems so hard to get those shit into this bloody head. Urgh. Father having problem at his workplace. Unsupportive parents. Siblings really annoying. Every little things they do just pissed me off. I'd rather not talk to anyone in this house. It just gonna make the situation worse. Better be on my own.Girlfriends busy with their own stuff. Missing the days when we used to spend time together. Sweet. Missing the past right now. Its kinda distracting. Im so bored of the environment im in now. Im so sick of my boring daily routine. Boyfriend rather useless. I find it really stupid actually. It just feels different right now. Maybe im just his pastime, and even if he did contact me, its like hours after. Dont really know what am i to him actually. Come and go. Ha, boys. And dont blame me for not trusting what he say, becoz his actions say a totally different thing. Urgh, its not my fault that im being insecure or whatever. Im tired of msging him actually. I see no point when i sense no interest. Met him yesterday for dinner, so he told me that most prob that he would be gg to the US, and cancel his PR here. i guess he never thought about how i'd feel before he said those stuff. Yeah, its kinda obvious now that to him, i dont really exist. So what the fuck am i still with him, when i know obviously that one day, very soon, he'd leave me. Urgh. So sick thinking actually. Its a good thing that i have Sang in school. She's the one who can actually tahan my rantings.. im feeling so not right now. Urgh. Fuck everything ah.

Looooooook at me. How short. Sad

Me with Ijan senget.

Nyonya Pojiah And Me

Babbbi Biri- biri

K ciao

On the 9 of August, For the first time in my whole 18 years in Singapore, i managed to get a seat in the national Stadium to celebrate the nation's bday. Wakaka. How sad kan. I didnt even go to the preview when i was in primary 5 like other kids. ANyway, time passed really fast that evening. Before, we knew it, its already the finale and the pretty pretty colourful fireworks filled the clear clear night. And it was very beautiful especially with the big full moon that night. Its nice to watch firework close up. Beautiful. And i had fun screaming every shit out of me. So fun to be in a stadium so packed with ppl. The only minus point was that, i didnt see any cute guys there! Urgh, and it felt kinda awkward becoz its like only me, sang and fad screaming in our area. The rest prefer to just shut up. What the hell, they might as well, enjoy the parade at home. And i swear the girl beside me didnt speak more than 10 sentences throughout that 3 hours. ANd the two girls in front of us, kept turning back with the annoyed faces. We just dont give a fuck. Wakakaka. Screaming. Singing. Cam whoring. Wanted to dance, but nah, too shy to be on the national television that evening. Bleah. Yeah, had fun there. The gg home part was hell. Took about hour plus to get our of the kallang area. Crazy kiasu ppl kept pushing me from the back. Urgh. Anyway, met gracy there. Didnt expect to see that crazy lady there. Thanks for the ticket baby!
Sang looked like a manggama. Weeeeet. With those tappered pants and shades. Wakaka.

K ciao

Met izyan for a session at the gym just now, after Sports Carnival. I feel much fresher and lighter now. As usual, she was late :S and by the time she got there, i was almost done with my stuff. But yeah, anyway, she didnt do much la... just 3 rounds and the stepping thing? Hehee.. Lunch with her, and we talk about my studies. And we talk about her stuff. and we talk about how to get my hair done. I feel like gg for rebonding at the end of this month. Or should i go for hair treatment? And she recommended me this place which have quite a good deal. Hmm..

And by the way, Sang's sweetheart fell at the sports carvival just now. Aww.. Poor thing. Like a small kid. Benny house got 3rd. Wakaka. Like as if i care anyway.

Im excited about tmr!! Wakakaa. Thanks Sang.

Ok blogging time is over. Time for a nap now.

Tadaa~

Its just too bad that i couldnt join the girls on Saturday night. Urgh. From what they told me, they sure had a lot of fun. Damn i missed it. But, i swear my mother wont allow me to go to sucha places no matter how hard i convince her that i can take care of myself. Come on, im an adult now mom, i want to go. It sounds so cool. So the only choice now is to lie. Urgh. I feel really bad when i have to resort to this method to satisfy my wants. I will feel uncomfortable. And im sure, lying has its consequences. And im soo afraid of that. i have lied soo many times :S i dont know y, but last saturday, i didnt have the heart to do it again. My parents trust me too much. And im taking it for granted. Urgh. But if i were to just think about the consequences of lying, i will stick in this house like forever, not doing something that an 18 year old teenagers would be doing. Like come on, she will never allow me. Never. Not fun. Sigh. I guess i will get this A levels done first. And think about it later.

Anyway, i went to the mosque yesterday. Oh, y is that a surprise to some of you out there. Come on, im not that ignorant about my religion okay.. Ustaz convered on ALam Barzarkh, life after death. Damn, it was scary. Especially when he shared the discovery in Russia. Scientist placed a very sensitive device able to detect sound that a human ears cant. Initially the experiment was to study the movement of earth or something like that. But what they discovered was not something a human would expect. From the recording, sound of people screaming and very very scary voice could be heard. My ustaz replayed there sound and the crowd could actually hear "allahuakbar" Allah the almighty. And some of the scientist even fainted. Maybe its the sound of the malaikat. And who was that screaming? Only God knows.

Almost done with my new timetable. Should be able to finish it tonight. Hopefully i will stick to it this time. Im left with 1 month before the prelims. Sigh

Ok better go now. Need to go Choa Chu kang. By the way, i need the smoke machune urgently. And damn my primary-school-girl face. People dont even believe im already 16. Im not sure its a bad thing or good. But it sure is irritating at times. Especially when they stop me in cinema asking for teh IC when my hands are busy with stuff. Urgh

Ciao

I have been having this weird weird dream these few days. I was making out with a girl from my primary school. A girl! God damn it. And its more strange that i was enjoying the make out session. Am i turning into a lesbian?? Haha. What a question. It was damn disgusting. I shall not state the details here la.. Damn gross thinking about it. ANd i've been thinking about it the whole day in school. Dont know y. Urgh. Definately its nothing about me turning into a lesbian. ANyway, ive not been talking to her for a long time. And becoz of this dream, i have been waking up late. Urgh.

Something is really disturbing me. I really feel cheated. Urgh. Lucky there's someone whom i can talk to in school. COmforting abit. ANyway, to think that i got to know about it on my own, with me patching together the pieces together, is more upsetting. I guess he didnt know that. I cant do anything. This is over so long ago.So no point talking about it now. Its just that i got to know about it recently. On my own. I cant help but feel really bad. Urgh. Furthermore, i never expected to get this from him. He sucks. Really disappointing. He dont know that.

Been a really busy week. Actually im in a middle of some work. Econs and Gp test coming up. Gotta speed up, cant afford to disappoint Daddy dearest. If you ask me to name one guy i love the most in this world, i'd say i love Omar. Haha. Sounds abit wrong. But yeah, my dad is so sweet. No wonder he's married to my mom. Both very sweet. SO the daughter turn out to be very very sweet. Sweet + sweet = 2sweet = TOO sweet.

OK out of point. Better start studying now.

Bf, excuse me. I gotta sit for my A lvls soon. So get the fuck OUtta my way! Urgh.